dyna

Being beautiful is both a curse and a blessing. Epik Helen Of Troy adalah contoh sempurna untuk menjadi ilustrasi bahwa bukti kecantikan seorang perempuan adalah chaos, kambing hitam sejarah, kesengsaraan, dan peperangan akbar yang legendaris seperti The Trojan War.

It’s in our nature to worship beauty, get addicted by it, becoming a beauty junkie. But also, it’s in our nature to find the great equalizer.

Something like :

“If someone looks good, there’s got to be something wrong with her/him” (Raquel Welch, What Is Beauty ?”

Jadi walaupun kadang-kadang kita melihat model-model jelita itu berpose dengan cantiknya dalam baju-baju menakjubkan yang sebetulnya sih CUMA kelihatan bagus karena mereka yang pakai, kita kadang cemburu dan sebal karena mereka mengintimidasi kita, for not having the perfect body, the perfect hair, perfect size, teeth – for every little thing that we are not.

Terus, dengan nakalnya kita bakalan memasang stereotype seolah model-model itu gak punya otak, lemah otak, Cuma gara-gara mereka kelihatan hebat dan sempurna.

We try to find our great equalizer.

Why ?

First of all, because it hurts to know when you lose ‘the real beauty contest’ to someone more beautiful. And it spreads to be unpleasant intimidating feeling of ‘everything-in-me-is-wrong’.

Then…

Because it feels good.

Because we can. (Nickelodeon)

Because sometimes, the only way to make us feel good about ourselves, is to make other look bad. (Homer Simpson)

Does it make us feel good in the end ?

If you had privilege to make yourself so damn beautiful, stunning like models or superstars, but then you have to live the rest of your life making other people jealous and think you are brain-lack, and only see you for your beauty, making you as their trophy, would you have it ?

“Apa sih bagusnya dia ?! Cantiknya di mana sih ? Tampangnya biasa banget. Modal putih doing ama tajir.Lihat ya, iteman dikit aja, udah deh…pembantaian (pembantu). Kok bisa-bisanya sih, dia dinobatkan jadi cewek tercantik di sekolah kita ?” celetuk gemas seorang teman saya melihat rivalnya, yang berkulit seputih dan sekinclong kemeja putih yang baru dicuci di iklan sabun cuci, dalam setelah barang bermerek serba wah dan chic itu, ternyata berhasil menggaet cowok impiannya – her prince charming.

Pernah ada di posisi itu ? Been there, done that ?

Later, from that story, I became more sure that beauty is not 2+2=4. It’s relative. Not only in the eyes of beholder, it’s more like : in the eyes of the beholderS. I called it : “socially beautiful”.

Because sometimes, when we talk about beauty, it’s almost the same as the Oscar. Not only it has to fit to its standards, but it’s also simply about what other people around us really…really like, to fit their standards and images about beauty.

Sometimes what really matters, what really rules, is what other people think. About how many people really, really, think it fits their images and associations about beauty.

Just like in Oscar.

Mungkin kamu juga pernah dengar komentar-komentar ini :

“Cantik sih, tapi kata temen-temen gue, neneng-neneng banget cantiknya.”

“Lumayan cakep, tapi kata anak-anak, gak gaul dan gak gaya gitu. Jadi, gak ah…males !”

So the good news is, we don’t have to be drop dead beautiful to be considered beautiful. Just make sure, we are “socially beautiful”, then we are beautiful.

But to be socially beautiful, meaning : we wear the perfect brand and speak the ‘right’ words. The bottom line is, we keep up with the latest trends – what’s in and what’s out.

The thing is, if the way we find beauty, the one that really fits our images and standards, is mostly ruled by what others around us think, by the media, and so on…

Can we really define our own ?

Will it still be the same as what others have in mind ?

Can we independently define what is beauty ?

This girl is so lovely. She’s so beautiful, rich, popular, and definitely adorable. And yes, I envy her. In fact, I dislike her for a reason.

She made me learn that beauty could be harmfully intimidating, especially if we can’t keep up to its standards.

From time to time, beauty – women’s beauty – always has it’s own standards. What’s in and out. If we are lucky enough to be born and growing up at the perfect time, we might have all those qualities to be considered beautiful.

But the thing is, lucky or not, we always get into it. To its standards.

We try to loose our weight, whitening our skin, straightening our hair, buying stuffs we don’t really need, spend lots of money on make-up, anti-acne cosmetics, anti-aging crème, perfumes, clothes, shoes and bags, do some painful things such as facial, waxing, and so on…

What’s that all about ?

Just to spoil our urge, our nature ?

To fit the profile ?

To fit the picture perfect ?

To be more beautiful ?

And finally, to get us the finest man – in order to prove that we are beautiful ?

Do we still do that ?

Do we need reasons to be beautiful ?

Do we need to be considered beautiful ?

Menurut Aristoteles, politik adalah the master of science karena manusia tidak pernah lepas dari politik, dan manusia adalah makhluk politik. A natural-born-politician, perhaps ?

Lalu saya juga pernah membaca bahwa menurut Harold Laswell, politik adalah masalah kepentingan : siapa mendapatkan apa, kapan, dan untuk berapa lama.

Saya jadi berpikir, untuk bisa bertahan, to survive, we need to find out our greatest strength, supaya nantinya punya posisi tawar yang kuat. Karena sekali lagi, hidup ini tentang berpolitik, kan ? Kita pasti pernah melakukan politik skala kecil sekalipun, dalam hubungan pertemanan atau politik kantor, misalnya ?

What’s our greatest strength then ? What’s our power ?

Laki-laki dari kecil dididik dan dipersiapkan untuk jadi pencari nafkah utama keluarga, to have power in a family. Then as we know, in our society today, money is (unfortunately) the driving force. Money is power, artinya the more money they make, the more powerful they are, atau sebaliknya.

As for us, we’ve always been told to be and to always look nice, beautiful.

We recognize and learn that beauty is another form of power.

Well, it is. Beauty is power. Just like sex, beauty has a strong influence to get people addicted in some ways.

Ini menjelaskan kombinasi ‘the richest guy and the most beautiful girl’, atau penyakit laki-laki punya istri muda atau simpanan setelah they make more money, more powerful.

Because life basically is about exchanging power. Just like in politics.

From money to power, from power to money, from money to beauty, from power to beauty, and so on.

Tapi kan zaman berubah. Kita mulai lebih cerdas karena kesempatan belajar juga lebih terbuka untuk perempuan, lalu jadi lebih mandiri secara finansial dan psikologis. Dan cowok juga beubah lebih dandy…lebih ‘cantik’, lebih merawat diri, dan sebagainya.

Questions :

To have a good bargaining position in every ‘exchange of power’ in life – to get what we want and to survive in this world – what is our biggest strength ?

Does beauty still rule ?

Have we changed ?

Saya pernah membaca sesuatu hal yang menarik tentang kecantikan :

“Beauty is filthy rich. Our society is still the same old capitalist society which is making woman’s beauty has value on the open market, where the most beautiful girl gets the richest man.”

(Franz Lebowitz, Beauty Is Filthy Rich, What Is Beauty ?)

Saya jadi berpikir bahwa mungkin sebetulnya dunia ini adalah ajang kontes kecantikan yang sebenarnya buat kita, para perempuan. Kita bersaing untuk mendapatkan hadiah utama yang selalu kita idam-idamkan : our prince charming – who gets all of us to think about the ‘live-happily-ever-after’ ending. Just like in a fairy tale.

But to win the contest, is it in the end, finally, only a matter of beauty ? Is it still the same world we used to live in decades before, where beauty RULES among other qualities ?

Is it always like what Franz Lebowitz said ?

The most beautiful girl gets the best and the most qualified man a.k.a the most ELIGIBLE man ?

Does beauty still rule ?

What do you think ?

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil bertanya kepada ibunya "Mengapa engkau menangis ?"

"Karena aku seorang wanita", kata sang ibu kepadanya.

"Aku tidak mengerti", kata anak itu.

Ibunya hanya memeluknya dan berkata, "Dan kau tak akan pernah mengerti."

Kemudian anak laki-laki itu bertanya kepada ayahnya, "Mengapa ibu suka menangis tanpa alasan ?"

"Semua wanita menangis tanpa alasan", hanya itu yang dapat dikatakan oleh ayahnya.

Anak laki-laki kecil itu pun lalu tumbuh menjadi seorang laki-laki dewasa, tetap ingin tahu mengapa wanita menangis.

Akhirnya ia menghubungi Tuhan, dan ia bertanya, "Tuhan, mengapa wanita begitu mudah menangis ?"

Tuhan berkata :

"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan."

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya."

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh."

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu."

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk diteteskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan kapan pun ia butuhkan."

"Kau tahu : Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, sosok yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya."

"Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, karena itulah pintu hatinya – tempat di mana cinta itu ada."

Suatu hari sang guru bertanya kepada murid-muridnya, "Mengapa ketika seseorang sedang dalam keadaan marah, ia akanberbicara dengan suara kuat atau berteriak ?"

Seorang murid setelah berpikir cukup lama mengangkat tangan dan menjawab, "Karena saat seperti itu ia telah kehilangan kesabaran, karena itu ia lalu berteriak."

"Tapi…" sang guru balik bertanya, "lawan bicaranya justru berada di sampingnya. Mengapa harus berteriak ? Apakah ia tak dapat berbicara secara halus ?"

Hampir semua murid memberikan sejumlah alasan yang dikira benar menurut pertimbangan mereka. Namun tak satu pun jawaban yang memuaskan. Sang guru lalu berkata, "Ketika dua orang sedang berada dalam situasi kemarahan, jarak antara ke dua hati mereka menjadi amat jauh walau secara fisik mereka begitu dekat. Karena itu, untuk mencapai jarak yang demikian, mereka harus berteriak. Namun anehnya, semakin keras mereka berteriak, semakin pula mereka menjadi marah dan dengan sendirinya jarak hati yang ada di antara keduanya pun menjadi lebih jauh lagi. Karena itu mereka terpaksa berteriak lebih keras lagi."

Sang guru masih melanjutkan, "Sebaliknya, apa yang terjadi ketika dua orang saling jatuh cinta ? Mereka tak hanya tidak berteriak, namun ketika mereka berbicara suara yang keluar dari mulut mereka begitu halus dan kecil. Sehalus apa pun, keduanya bisa mendengarkannya dengan begitu jelas. Mengapa demikian ?" Sang guru
bertanya sambil memperhatikan para muridnya. Mereka nampak berpikir amat dalam namun tak satupun berani memberikan jawaban. "Karena hati mereka begitu dekat, hati mereka tak berjarak. Pada akhirnya sepatah kata pun tak perlu diucapkan. Sebuah pandangan mata saja amatlah cukup membuat mereka memahami apa yang ingin mereka sampaikan."

Sang guru masih melanjutkan, "Ketika kaliam sedang dilanda kemarahan,janganlah hatimu menciptakan jarak. Lebih lagi hendaknya kamu tidak mengucapkan kata yang mendatangkan jarak di antara kamu. Mungkin di saat seperti itu, tak mengucapkan kata-kata mungkin merupakan cara yang bijaksana. Karena waktu akan membantu kalian."

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah,ambillah kesombongan dari diriku.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, bukan Aku yang mengambil tapi kau yang harus menyerahkannya.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : ”Ya Allah, sempurnakanlah kekurangan anakku yang cacat.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, jiwanya telah sempurna, tubuhnya hanyalah sementara.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah, berilah aku kesabaran.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, kesabaran didapat dari ketabahan dalam menghadapi cobaan, tidak diberikan. Kau harus mencobanya sendiri.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah, beri aku kebahagiaan.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, Kuberi keberkahan, kebahagiaan tergantung padamu sendiri untuk menghargai keberkahan itu.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah, jauhkan aku dari kesusahan.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, penderitaan menjauhkanmu dari jerat duniawi dan mendekatkanmu padaKu.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah, beri aku segala hal yang menjadikan hidup ini nikmat.”

Allah berkata : “Tidak, Aku beri kau kehidupan supaya kau menikmati segala hal.”

Ketika manusia berdoa : “Ya Allah, bantu aku mencintai orang lain, sebesar cintaMu padaku.”

Allah berkata : “Akhirnya kau mengerti !!!”

Kadang kala kita berpikir bahwa Allah tidak adil, kita telah susah payah memanjatkan doa, meminta dan berusaha, pagi-siang-malam, tapi tak ada hasilnya.

Kita mengharapkan diberi pekerjaan, puluhan-bahkan ratusan lamaran telah kita kirimkan tak ada jawaban sama sekali, sementara orang lain dengan mudahnya mendapatkan pekerjaan.

Kita sudah bekerja keras dalam pekerjaan mengharapkan jabatan, tapi justru orang lain yang mendapatkannya tanpa susah payah.

Kita mengharapkan diberi pasangan hidup yang baik dan sesuai, berakhir dengan penolakkan dan kegagalan, orang lain dengan mudah berganti pasangan.

Kita menginginkan harta yang berkecukupan, namun kebutuhanlah yang terus meningkat.

Coba kita bayangkan diri kita seperti anak kecil yang sedang demam dan pilek lalu kita melihat tukang es. Kita yang sedang panas badannya merasa haus dan merasa dengan minum es dapat mengobati rasa demam (maklum anak kecil). Lalu kita meminta pada orang tua kita (seperti kita berdoa memohon pada Allah) dan merengek agar dibelikan es. Orang tua kita tentu lebih tahu kalau es dapat memperparah penyakit kita. Tentu dengan segala dalih kita tidak dibelikan es. Orang tua kita tentu ingin kita sembuh dulu baru boleh minum es yang lezat itu. Begitu pula dengan Allah, segala yang kita minta allah tahu apa yang paling baik untuk kita.

Mungkin tidak sekarang, atau tidak di dunia ini Allah mengabulkannya. Karena Allah tahu yang terbaik yang kita tidak tahu. Kita sembuhkan dulu diri kita sendiri dari “pilek” dan “demam”…dan terus berdoa.

JANUARY

Ambitious and serious
Loves to teach and be taught
Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses
Likes to criticize
Hardworking and productive
Smart, neat and organized
Sensitive and has deep thoughts
Knows how to make others happy
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Rather reserved
Highly attentive
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
Loves children
Loyal
Needs to improve social abilities
Easily jealous

                                 FEBRUARY

Abstract thoughts
Loves reality and abstract
Intelligent and clever
Changing personality
Temperamental
Quiet, shy and humble
Low self esteem
Honest and loyal
Determined to reach goals
Loves freedom
Rebellious when restricted
Loves aggressiveness
Too sensitive and easily hurt
Showing anger easily
Dislike unnecessary things
Loves making friends but rarely shows it
Daring and stubborn
Ambitious
Realizing dreams and hopes
Sharp
Loves entertainment and leisure
Romantic on the inside not outside
Superstitious and ludicrous
Spendthrift
Learns to show emotions

MARCH
Attractive personality
Affectionate
Shy and reserved
Secretive
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
Love peace and serenity
Sensitive to others
Loves to serve others
Not easily angered
Trustworthy
Appreciative and returns kindness
Observant and assess others

Revengeful
Loves to dream and fantasize
Loves traveling
Loves attention
Hasty decisions in choosing partners
Loves home decors
Musically talented
Loves special things
Moody

APRIL
Active and dynamic
Decisive and haste but tends to regret
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Strong mentality
Loves attention
Diplomatic
Consoling
Friendly and solves people’s problems
Brave and fearless
Adventurous
Loving and caring
Suave and generous
Emotional
Revengeful
Aggressive
Hasty
Good memory
Moving
Motivate oneself and the others
Sickness usually of the head and chest
Easily get too jealous

MAY
Stubborn and hard-hearted
Strong-willed and highly motivated
Sharp thoughts
Easily angered
Attracts others and loves attention
Deep feelings
Beautiful physically and mentally
Firm standpoint
Easily influenced
Needs no motivation
Easily consoled
Systematic (left brain)
Loves to dream
Strong clairvoyance
Understanding
Sickness usually in the ear and neck
Good imagination
Good debating skills
Good physical
Weak breathing
Loves literature and the arts
Loves traveling
Dislike being at home
Restless
Not having many children
Hardworking
High spirited
Spendthrift

JUNE
Thinks far with vision
Easily influenced by kindness
Polite and soft-spoken
Having lots of ideas
Sensitive
Active mind
Hesitating
Tends to delay
Choosy and always wants the best
Temperamental
Funny and humorous
Loves to joke
Good debating skills
Talkative
Daydreamer
Friendly
Knows how to make friends
Abiding
Able to show character
Easily hurt
Prone to getting colds
Loves to dress up
Easily bored
Fussy
Seldom show emotions
Takes time to recover when hurt
Brand conscious
Executive
Stubborn
Those who loves me are enemies
Those who hates me are friends
JULY
Difficult to fathom and to be understood
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Has reputation
Easily consoled
Honest
Concern about people’s feelings
Friendly
Approachable
Very emotional
Unpredictable and temperamental
Moody and easily hurt
Witty and sarky
Sentimental
Neither forgives nor forgets
Caring and loving
Strong sense of sympathy
Judge people through observations
Loves to be alone
Always broods about the past and the old friends
Likes to be quiet
Waits for friends
Not aggressive unless provoked
Loves to be loved
Easily hurt and takes long to recover
Overly concerned
Puts in effort in work

AUGUST
Loves to joke
Attractive
Suave and caring
Brave and fearless
Firm and has leadership qualities
Knows how to console others
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Thirsty for praises
Extraordinary spirit
Easily angered
Angry when provoked
Easily jealous
Observant
Careful and cautious
Thinks quickly
Independent thoughts
Loves to lead and to be led
Loves to dream
Talented in the arts, music and defence
Sensitive but not petty
Poor resistance against illnesses
Learns to relax
Hasty and rushy
Romantic
Loving and caring
Loves to make friends

SEPTEMBER
Suave and compromising
Careful, cautious and organized
Likes to point out people’s mistakes
Likes to criticize
Quiet but able to talk well
Calm and cool
Kind and sympathetic
Concerned and detailed
Trustworthy, loyal and honest
Does work well
Sensitive
Thinking
Good memory
Clever and knowledgeable
Loves to look for information
Must control oneself when criticizing
Able to motivate oneself
Understanding
Secretive
Loves sports, leisure and traveling
Hardly shows emotions
Tends to bottle up feelings
Choosy especially in relationships
Loves wide things
Systematic

OCTOBER
Loves to chat
Loves those who loves him
Loves to takes things at the center
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Sympathetic
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hurt but recovers easily
Bad tempered
Selfish
Seldom helps unless asked
Daydreamer
Very opinionated
Does not care of what others think
Emotional
Decisive
Strong clairvoyance
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring
Romantic
Touchy and easily jealous
Concerned
Loves outdoors
Just and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence

NOVEMBER
Has a lot of ideas
Difficult to fathom
Thinks forward
Unique and brilliant
Extraordinary ideas
Sharp thinking
Fine and strong clairvoyance
Can become good doctors
Careful and cautious
Dynamic in personality
Secretive
Inquisitive
Knows how to dig secrets
Always thinking
Less talkative but amiable
Brave and generous
Patient
Stubborn and hard-hearted
If there is a will, there is a way
Determined
Never give up
Hardly become angry unless provoked
Loves to be alone
Thinks differently from others
Sharp-minded
Motivates oneself
Does not appreciates praises
High-spirited
Well-built and tough
Deep love and emotions
Romantic
Uncertain in relationships
Homely
Hardworking
High abilities
Trustworthy
Honest and keeps secrets
Not able to control emotions
Unpredictable

DECEMBER
Loyal and generous
Patriotic
Active in games and interactions
Impatient and hasty
Ambitious
Influential in organizations
Loves to socialize
Loves praises
Loves attention
Loves to be loved
Honest and trustworthy
Not pretending
Short tempered and egoistic
Takes high pride in oneself
Hates restrictions
Loves to joke
Good sense of humor
Logical

Does your name begin with: A
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can’t be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don’t get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated. Your mate’s physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.

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Does your name begin with: B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

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Does your name begin with: C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

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Does your name begin with: D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement’s, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humor. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper.

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Does your name begin with: E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

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Does your name begin with: F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

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Does your name begin with: G

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

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Does your name begin with: H

You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun & everything you seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement as often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with a passion for life.

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Does your name begin with: I
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated… even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don’t last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

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Does your name begin with: J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren’t always used for the good (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.

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Does your name begin with: K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

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Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it’s all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated ".

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Does your name begin with: M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

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Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

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Does your name begin with: O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

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Does your name begin with: P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn’t think of doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy…a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

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Does your name begin with: Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

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Does your name begin with: R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

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Does your name begin with: S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the center of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

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Does your name begin with: T
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren’t very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like changes,  you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don’t want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life. !

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Does your name begin with: U
You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you’re in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

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Does your name begin with: V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.

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Does your name begin with: W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tend to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

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Does your name begin with: X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can’t shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.

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Does your name begin with: Y
You are sensual & very independent. If you can’t have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn’t work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

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Does your name begin with: Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover’s saviour.